DEAR DEIDRE: MY girlfriend can’t seem to get enough of my dad, and I’m starting to feel like the other man.
I’m 29 and she’s 27. We’ve been together for two years and until recently I thought we were in a really good place.
I’ve always had a close relationship with my dad, who is 51, and I was chuffed when my girlfriend seemed to take to him, too.
However, every time we go to my parents’ house, she only has eyes for him.
She’ll sit beside him on the sofa, laugh at his terrible jokes and ask him about his work with rehabilitating horses. Even when I try to join in, the conversation always goes back to him.
My dad’s always been confident and outgoing and he enjoys the attention.
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I’ve tried to put it to one side but when I’m forced to constantly hear her gush about how brilliant he is, I can’t help but wonder if she feels more for him.
She’ll go on about how handsome he is for his age, how successful he has been and how lucky my mum is to have him.
Recently, she even joked that I’d be doing well if I turned out half as confident as him.
Do you think it sounds like she has a crush on him?
I’m worried she isn’t just enjoying the attention he gives her and would actually be tempted to take things further if she got the chance.
Am I reading too much into this?
DEIDRE SAYS: Your girlfriend’s constant praise of your dad is denting your confidence, particularly when you feel overlooked in your own relationship.
Try not to jump to conclusions about her intentions but don’t ignore how her comments are making you feel, either.
Tell her honestly that the comparisons are hurtful.
What is her relationship like with her own dad? Ask yourself if she could be trying to fit in with your family by making a particular effort with your dad.
Listen to her response and talk about how you can both strengthen your relationship going forward.
My support pack, Relationship MOT, can help you work through problems together and improve communication.
Remember, you don’t need to compete with your dad or prove yourself to deserve your girlfriend’s affection.
My support pack, Raising Self-esteem, can also help you rebuild your confidence.