There’s
that person you still think about. Maybe it was the guy you had a crush on all
through high school, even though he never knew you existed. Or perhaps it was
the musician from your favorite band, someone you admired from afar. Maybe it
was the guy with the amazing dating profile who suddenly stopped replying to
your messages.
Whenever
you feel lonely, nostalgic, or just plain bored, thoughts of him come rushing
back. You find yourself wondering what he’s up to now. You think about how
things might have been if you dared to make a move. You envision how
your life might have changed if you had ended up together. Could he have been
the one, and did you miss your chance forever?
A Guy You
Never Dated Can Still Break Your Heart
It might
seem strange or even embarrassing to admit that you’re heartbroken over someone
you never dated. How can someone you’ve never had a relationship with make you
feel this way?? But here’s the truth: those feelings of sadness and loss are
very real. You’re not making them up.
As humans,
we have an incredible ability to create emotions through our imagination. Think
about the last time you cried at a movie or felt a sense of loss when you
finished a book series you loved Just because something is imaginary doesn’t
mean it can’t affect you deeply. In fact, sometimes the loss of a fantasy can
hurt more than a real-life breakup. Just think about how hard it is for kids
when they find out Santa Claus isn’t real.
Our
fantasies are important. They provide comfort, add a little magic to our lives,
help us imagine new possibilities, and remind us what it feels like to be
wanted. If you want to move on from this person, you need to figure out what
your fantasy is trying to tell you about what’s missing in your life—and then
go after it.
Fantasizing
isn’t a waste of time. It’s frequently the initial step in forming a
relationship. You see someone and immediately imagine how great they would be
as a partner. Even though you don’t know them well, you’re convinced they’d be
perfect for you. You start dreaming about what a relationship with them would
be like. These fantasies serve a purpose—they give you the courage to face your
fear of rejection and make a move. Your belief that you’d be great together
helps you keep trying, even when things get tough.
In real-life
relationships, the fantasy stage doesn’t last. Either you get rejected, or you
start dating and realize they aren’t as perfect as you thought. But when you
never get the chance to find out if you’d be good together, the fantasy doesn’t
end. You’re left without closure, and your imagination runs wild.
Your Dream Guy Never Disappoints You
Without
reality interfering, your ideal guy remains flawless in your imagination. You
don’t see his annoying habits or how he really is in a relationship. That’s why
letting go of a fantasy can be more difficult than losing someone in real life.
Your dream relationship is better than any real one you’ve had. In your
fantasy, your dream guy treats you like royalty and says all the things you’ve
always wanted to hear. Compared to him, the real-life guys you’ve dated just
don’t measure up.
When a
real person breaks your heart, you can remind yourself of their flaws and
convince yourself it would never have worked out. But your dream guy never hurt
you or let you down, making it so much harder to let go of him.
How to End
a Fantasy Relationship
If you
can’t pursue your dream guy—because he’s no longer in your life or was never
available to begin with—it’s time to realize that your fantasies have hit a
dead end. They can’t push you to take action, so you need to find a new purpose
for them. What are your dreams about him telling you about your unmet needs?
Maybe you’re craving more adventure, spontaneity, or romance. Maybe you’re
longing for connection or validation. Is there a way to fulfill these needs in
other ways? Could you plan more outings with friends? Pamper yourself with
something special, such as flowers or chocolates. Or maybe start posting
positive affirmations to remind yourself how amazing you are?
Recall
that your dreams should motivate you rather than derail you. If you’re stuck
because of someone who isn’t available, it’s time to get back out there. Real
life may be messy, imperfect, and sometimes disappointing, but it’s the only
place you can find the love you truly deserve
7 Love Strategies
