I loved this story shared with me in an email, and I was so thankful the sender agreed to let me share it with you!
Dear Dana,
I’ve thought about writing to you many times, but yesterday, as I was baking for Thanksgiving in my clean kitchen, I was extremely thankful for you! I think it was the first holiday ever (or even birthday!) that I started off my baking projects with a clean slate. I didn’t have days of dirty dishes to do before I even started. Wow! To paraphrase you, I finally accepted that philosophies and methodologies aren’t going to do my dishes and clean my house, I am.
Like so many of your people, I am a competent and creative person in so many ways, yet my house has almost always been out of control. My husband and I and our 3 daughters are artists, makers, musicians, dancers, cooks, bakers, gardeners, idealists, seeing possibilities in every scrap of fabric and piece of driftwood. You know.
The mess and clutter we live in has really taken a toll on my entire family. My husband and I have a lot of conflict around it. I can’t do stuff with and for my kids because everything is a mess all the time. I don’t get to have fun or truly relax. I feel like I am failing my family and failing myself because of the guilt and shame around our mess and my inability to live like I want to.
I have your books, listen to your podcasts, read your blog and always nod along and shout Amens as I read/listen to you. The language you use to describe our unique lived experiences has helped me feel like I’m not alone and I am not a failure, and I am finally starting to make meaningful progress! My home is looking and feeling better! I realized through reading your books that I have a very low clutter threshold and that really for my mental health I need a very minimalist home. I’m focusing on how I want my home to feel for all of us. It’s so strange that I’m so sensitive to my environment and visual over-stimulation, yet my house can go from tidy to disaster and I don’t see it. Getting the clutter out is helping me be successful in getting the daily stuff done. And getting the daily stuff done is helping me get even more clutter out. It’s a beautiful circle!
I bought your video course where you clear the bookshelf and had my husband and oldest daughter watch it too. I’m teaching my kids and husband how to declutter using your steps and your questions. I’m teaching them about dishes math. I’m teaching them about the container concept. My recent ‘aha’ came as I was listening to your podcast on the 5 minute pickup. I’ve been feeling like, “Sheesh! I’ve been getting rid of so much stuff and really trying to stay on top of the daily stuff, and yet I feel like if I don’t spend every moment of my day following my kids around tidying up then things get out of control again!” So I realized we still have way too much stuff!! The answer really is the 5 minute pickup!
I have this dear friend who is an amazing thrift store shopper and has a gorgeous home filled with all these treasures. She is a great hostess and her house feels so welcoming. I go shopping in thrift stores with her and bring home cool stuff. And then it just looks like junk in my house. My house doesn’t feel welcoming, it feels cold and messy. I’m learning I can’t do that. I’m also releasing lots of hand me downs because I simply can’t manage the inventory. My daughters are spaced 4.5 years apart and I just can’t keep stuff that long. I forget I have that pretty dress or super cute shoes.
So I really want to thank you for the work you are doing in the world. You are bringing hope and peace to so many homes. Blessings to you and your family this holiday season.
With deep gratitude.
